Back to School!

To the Honorable Rav, Shlit”a

I want to express my heartfelt appreciation for your outstanding column and practical advice, while seeking the Rav’s guidance regarding an issue that concerns me deeply. As a mechanech in a cheider (and husband to a Bais Yaakov teacher, who has noticed the same phenomenon in the girls’ schools), I’m witnessing a disturbing trend of children staying home frequently from school and cheider. School attendance has declined to the point that it’s become practically acceptable for children to stay home any time they want. I’m quite certain that this evolved due to the numerous emergency situations that we’ve faced over the last few years. But my question is how—and if—it’s possible to restore things to the way they once were when kids were expected to go to school every single day—and went happily.

Hagaon Harav Dovid Levy shlit”a replies: You’ve highlighted a very significant issue that is indeed prevalent in our times. Especially in Eretz Yisrael, the last couple of years have shaken people’s core sense of stability. Covid was followed by national calamity and war, and for many, fear became a constant companion. One of the heaviest prices we’ve paid is the loss of routine—something that people only truly appreciate once it’s gone.

In the past, staying home from school was reserved for illness, vacations, or extreme disciplinary measures. However, in the past few years, necessity transformed the home into a safe haven. For many children, home became their comfort zone—and in some cases, too comfortable for their own good. The general commitment to school and education is terribly weakened. Kids regularly refuse to get out of bed in the morning, and they see nothing wrong at all with the idea of taking an unofficial day or two off of school.

A generation ago, if a Rebbi or teacher sent a student home, it was an unthinkable punishment, a terrible humiliation. Yet today, for some students, staying home from school is a prize. This attitude trickles down to the children who "do their teachers a favor" and show up, yet recurring latenesses, minimal or nonexistent academic effort, and total disregard for homework are now rampant. The entire framework of commitment is dissolving, eroding both the authority of the school and the value of learning in the eyes of the students.

It is essential to rectify this situation, and the only way to do it is by generating a shift in our collective mindset—a shift that must begin in the home. It’s time for parents to send their children a clear, unambiguous message: School attendance is not optional. Not only is it compulsory, but it is also a sacred obligation. Even if a child is struggling, the solution must be found within the walls of his school, and not outside of them.

It’s recommended for parents to make a point of discussing the importance of school and cheider over dinner or other occasions. When a child hears his parents expressing genuine appreciation for his school, he feels that it’s a place worth investing his efforts into in order to succeed.

Beyond that, we should celebrate learning itself. We should commend diligence, offer incentives for academic achievement and high scores on tests, and praise role models who can inspire us through their efforts in learning. When we champion the "good students," the message hits home.

Moreover, as educators, we must do our utmost to make cheider and school a place where kids actually want to be. Run incentive programs that link success with a positive experience and strive to create a joyful atmosphere. Show genuine interest in our students—acknowledging their efforts, and also seeing them as people and not just students.  

A friend once shared with me that his kindergarten Rebbe, Rav Elimelech Cheshin’s "Good morning, kinderlach!" still echoes in his mind, resonating with love for his young talmidim.

Of course, we must remain sensitive to the fact that some children did suffer emotional trauma following the recent crises. However, it must be emphasized that sensitivity does not mean surrendering boundaries and values. Letting a child skip school on a regular basis doesn’t help them, but weakens their long-term resilience. This is why returning with a full commitment to school isn't just an academic necessity, but the only way to imbue our children with the sense of security and stability that was stolen from them.

Wishing you much success in your avodas hakodesh!