V’Higadeta L’Bincha

Question:

I heard in the Rav’s name that the most effective means of teaching our children ahavas haTorah and yiras Shamayim is by sharing stories that exemplify these qualities whenever possible, and particular during Shabbos seudos. I was quite surprised to hear this, and I would like to ask the Rav to please clarify this point:

Hagaon Harav Dovid Levy, shlit”a, responds:

I understand your question, and I agree that it may seem difficult to believe that a major aspect of chinuch is rooted in good stories, but I have solid proof of this! Your question is not original; it was asked by some of Klal Yisrael’s most revered leaders throughout the generations—beginning with Rashi himself in his very first commentary on the Torah.

In the first Rashi in Sefer Bereishis, he posits that if the objective of the Torah [which derives from the same root word as hora’ah—to teach] was to educate us to the dinim and halachos in life, “Then it could have started with [the mitzvah of] ‘Hachodesh hazeh lachem…’The Torah could have opened with the first mitzvah, yet practically, there is an entire chumash plus two extra parshiyos that precede it!

The Torah describes Creation and the stories of our Avos and Imahos, Kabbalas HaTorah and the 40 years of wandering in the Midbar at great length, whereas most halachos commanded in the Torah are delivered in brief as written, “The laws of Shabbos, Yomim Tovim and me’ilos are as mountains hanging from a strand, [encompassing] little text and many halachos.”

Why is this? Rashi explains, “So if the nations of the world tell Yisrael, “You are thieves!” they will respond to them, “All of the earth belongs to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. With His will, He gave it to them; and with His will, He took it from them and gave it to us.”

Stories are the most effective means of persuasion and forging a connection with truth, because stories penetrate the heart, not just the mind—and even more so, the hearts of children.

Stories are likewise a supremely valuable tool in chinuch, breeding close, positive and pleasant relationship and communication between parent and child. When a parent takes the time to share a story, he demonstrates to the child that the child is important to him, and his message is then not only heard, but also absorbed. It is always easier to accept and internalize a lesson when the atmosphere is warm and inviting and the dialogue lacks a critical, disparaging tone which automatically causes a child to retreat.

This phenomenon is particularly evident among individuals in Klal Yisrael who are, unfortunately, not religious. No matter how distant they may be from Torah and observance, they still join together for a seder and follow the timeless seder traditions—a direct outgrowth of the mitzvah of V’higadeta l’bincha’ which Klal Yisrael throughout the generations have observed on this special night.